Coaching question of the week: What if you don't have to do it?
When you are feeling resistance, explore your book's foundations.
“I don’t know what it is. I’m putting off the research I need to do for this section of my book.”
This is what one of my coaching clients expressed during our call this week. We were reviewing the latest outline of her book, a prescriptive self-help based on her long lived experience and informed by her academic and professional experience.
On paper, the outline made sense. Part 2 of her book would underscore the important message she had for her readers in Part 1. It would show readers how universal her book’s subject is, how people have been grappling with this topic for ages, and how research clearly points to the benefits of addressing it in our lives.
But my writer was feeling resistance. Even though she knew she needed to spend time in research to begin the work of writing, she was spending time on other parts of the book. A revision of another chapter seemed easier than beginning this work.
So when she told me about this urge to procrastinate again, we went back to the foundations of her project.
“Why is this section important? What is its purpose?” I asked.
She named the reasons. As she was speaking, I could see she already recognized the source of her resistance. These three chapters had sprouted out of her worry that if she didn’t include this section, her readers wouldn’t feel there was enough substance behind her own ideas. Her book asks readers to do some hard personal work. When she built her outline, she had been worried they wouldn’t take action — and they wouldn’t find the answers they came for. On top of that, she has great admiration for writers like Brene Brown who can deliver research in such a way that the reader enjoys it. Then there was her background in academia, which taught her the lit review is essential.
“Okay,” I said, “let’s look at your ideal readers again. Who do they need to hear from to feel ready to do this work?”
“They want to hear from someone who has done it.”
“And that’s you. You’ve done the work.”
“I have.”
“Do they need to hear from historical figures, philosophers, or researchers?”
We returned to her earlier work on her ideal readers – who they are, what communities they belong to, their experiences, and where they are in their lives at the moment they enter this book.
It came down to this: Her readers want to hear from someone who has done the work already and came out on the other side better or happier. These readers belong to mutual support groups. They seek connection to others who have survived what they survived. They value the experience of people like them. My writer’s personal experience would bring them a sense of connection and optimism. A sense of relief, because they aren’t alone.
“You might value the results of research,” I said, ”but do your readers?”
“Maybe a little. But no, not so much in this case. They want to know someone who has gone ahead of them.”
“Do you need a full section of your book – three chapters – dedicated to it, then?”
We weighed the options.
“No,” she decided. “I want some of the research and history to be there, but not in this way.”
Today, her outline is in revision. Her job now is to find a new way to give her readers the foundational information they should have in hand, but deliver it in a way that will bolster her own message and advice, not overwhelm it.
Her resistance has subsided. My writer is ready to continue.
* * *
I regularly remind my clients of iteration. If it doesn’t work, we go back to the drawing board. The thing with iteration, though, is that we often want to keep working with what is already there. Before we do, we need to engage in this process of questioning to understand why it is there already.
In our coaching call, we relied, in part, on the “But why?” question that Tara McMullin wrote about earlier this week. Sometimes, we get better answers when we question the question. We need to step back and examine the question before we answer it. There may be an entirely different question to ask, instead, Tara McMullin suggested, if we want to avoid acquiescence bias. For my client, it wasn’t “How can I make myself do the work?” — it was “Is this the right work?”
I’m looking forward to seeing what comes out of my writer’s new strategy. Will it work? I’m optimistic. She has the skills to do it. She understands her readers inside and out. It should work. And if it doesn’t, we sit with the questions again and let a new plan come forth.
When you subscribe to this newsletter, you get a free download of my workbook, 7 Key Questions to Ask About Your Readers Before You Start Writing. Look for a link in your welcome email.
What is a book coach? A book coach offers support to the writer. We help writers show up to the page, plan their books, prepare them for publication — we help writers stay on track. We offer feedback, accountability and mindset support. We are partners and cheerleaders and project managers. I’m part of a large community of coaches who serve writers of fiction, nonfiction, and memoir, and there are coaches for writers at any stage and from diverse communities.
I help people with know-how figure out the how-to. I love working with clients who want to help and heal their communities — people who have shown up and know what works. If that is you, I have 3 coaching spots available for January 2025. Get in touch by email at hello[at]dinahlaprairie.com and ask for a Meet Me Call.
Ooh, I read a good book this week! I’ll be back next week with my next Readability Review. —DL